Jessica Gross

Archive for the ‘quotables’ Category

To Boston’s Rescue

In quotables on April 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm

As I’d hoped, several commenters came to Boston’s defense after my post ripping into the city. A few choice excerpts, below.

From Mike:

My roommate just came back from Boston and she loved it — the history, the lobster rolls, [and] the Revolutionary War-era ship she got to pretend to be a wench on.

From Dez:

Education central, the best hospitals, a place for entrepeneurship to rest its head.

And from Ranjani:

Lots going on, culture, restaurants, nightlife, new people (and so many in our age group), etc. — but it’s smaller and more manageable than certain other cities.

Have your own reasons? Comment.


I Hear the Best Quotes on the Bus

In quotables on January 14, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Early in the morning, a mother and a father (different families) were on school-run duty with their sons. The father turned to his parent friend and boasted, “You know, Eric loves to surf.” His son, on cue, jumped into a surfing stance — riding the bus, as it were.

“We don’t allow surfing,” the mother replied. She turned to her child, prisoner of neurotic parenting.

The father grimaced. “Eric, be careful,” he said. “There’s not enough space.”

Classic parent back-down: dad did a 180, but pretended it was unrelated to the mother’s disdain. I, meanwhile, took notes on my copy of the Week In Review.

And the Award Goes to…

In quotables on January 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm

No, not the Golden Globes. I’m talking about a new award that I just made up, called “Worst Slogan Ever.” Today’s goes to a fake flower store with a tag line that made me cringe:

“Perfecting the craft of making faux botanicals appear real.”


In quotables on January 3, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Father: I’ve never seen you as happy as the day we brought Furby home.

Son: I don’t want that to be the memory.

Father: Maybe when you get married.

(In fact, this was my father. And my brother.)


In quotables on December 17, 2008 at 6:13 pm

“Babe, you’re not rocking that drink.”

“I know, I’m thinking about this piece I’m working on. It’s so rude.”

– A couple eating out on the Upper East Side.


In quotables on December 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm

“Thank you so much. It was so nice talking to you.”

– Man exiting a taxi on 20th and 1st, to the driver.


In quotables on November 24, 2008 at 6:01 pm

“You’re TOO CLOSE to me. Once I hear you talking, you’re too close.”

– Man walking in front of me and two coworkers on Park Avenue

Overheard at the Bus Stop

In quotables on November 19, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Seventy-year-old woman: HelLO, Tom!

Stodgy, middle-aged man turns around.

Old woman: Oh, you look just like Tom! He’s — Tom — he lives across the street…Tom, my neighbor…

Not-Tom’s wife (snarling): It’s MIKE.

Me (to the wife, in my head): The chance that the old lady is hitting on your husband is zero percent. You should be so lucky.


In quotables on November 12, 2008 at 12:26 am

“I have to apologize. Years of amphetamine use have made me very shaky.”

– A nervous presenter at tonight’s NY Tech Meetup.