I never mastered the art of reading a newspaper on the train. I’ve mastered the fold — I can get the thing down to a sliver — but it’s the opening, the folding of the front page to access page two, that stumps me.
Today, as I tried to make that first fold, my arms got carried away, as if they were commanded by a different brain. I nearly punched the man seated next to me in the face. He flinched, withdrawing from my newsweapon.
“Sorry!” I squawked. He smiled; all was well.
But I was embarrassed. Real New Yorkers can read the newspaper on the subway. As I got off, I apologized again.
“No worries,” he said. “It was funny.”
“I have depth perception problems,” I said.
Depth perception problems?
Bottom line: I need to practice the first-page fold. Maybe even in front of a mirror. (And never say “depth perception problems” again.)
this was a nice little read. thank you.
I wish I lived in New York where interesting times like this exist. I live in a much smaller city, although the broadsheet problem still exists here also.